What Winter Taught Me…Above All, Joy.

Three days into Spring. It is a glorious Wednesday morning and all I feel like doing today is sharing. Celebrating. Winter was tough folks. But, as all tough things go, it was full of lessons. So I share with you what I learned over the last three months.

1.From now on I am off the radar from December 20 through March 19. Winter is a time of rest and reassessment. Reflection and healing.  No more feeling regret that I’m not doing and moving enough to keep up with the pace around me. Instead, my to do’s in winter include book reading and warm teas. More time with loved ones. Nice meals with friends. Movie nights with hot chocolate. Getting to bed early and melting into that warm bed.

2.I can pull off red nails in February. It is a new favorite ritual to celebrate the month of Love. At some point in my life, I judged on the V- Day. But, honestly, I’m a sucker for it. I love that the whole month is dedicated to love and friendship and sweet things. I love pink. I love red. I love chocolate strawberries.  This year…playing Clue  with four other women, tons of laughter and a bottle of wine…spectacular.

3.I want to play more board games. I didn’t play board games growing up. I can see how I missed out. But, no longer.

4. Friendship. Friendship. Friendship. A blessing. From now on a top priority in my life will be to practice being a good friend.

5. My body speaks up when it needs for me to check in. Those stress headaches, it’s my body shouting “Hey, that’s not what you want. That’s not you.” It’s no longer letting me swallow up or repress anything. Whoa! Big shift.

6. That I want to create with others all over the world a la Gael (kickass Mex Actor and lots of other cool things. Ck out Mozart in the Jungle for quick reference).

7. That I want to be a part of dinner parties all throughout NYC. Dinner parties with brilliant minds, artistic hearts and witty spirits.

8. That growing up is a decision. It has nothing to do with age.

9. That Sci Fi is cool. Quantum Physics has me so intrigued.

10.That I can geek out on Mind/Body/Spirit talks, podcasts, books, articles, films, etc. Someone asked me last year, “what do you love so much, spend money on or travel for to make happen?”  I didn’t know what to answer because following this Acting path is no joke. But, I knew he was asking about a hobby.  And a few days ago, I realized “OPRAH!” LOL. (though yes, true, everything Oprah is my hobby) I love learning from teachers who teach on how to live your best life. I read and study this stuff for fun. I can talk about the soul’s journey, the hero’s journey, fascia, the effect of sugar on your body, chakras, Faith traditions, the ego, the human form, personal evolution, etc ALL DAY. I get that it makes me kind of a snooze but I LOVE IT!

11. That doggies are blessings. I will forever love and give thanks for my dearest Sola who opened my heart profoundly.  The effects of her work are so evident in my life.

12. How proud I’m to be Mexican American. No more keeping to myself any part of my story. Unique and full of triumph and spiritual adventure.

13. That my cynical, pessimistic, depressed days are way past me.Officially. And what a relief that is!

14. That I love Brooklyn.

15. That I deserve my dreams.

16. That I need to really work on how to remain the empathetic person that I am without absorbing the energy of others to the degree of emotional drain.

17. That Madison Square Park is my happy place. My favorite place to have lunch and allow time to be.

18. That I want a Love partnership full of laughter, dance and expansion.  Full of possibility but grounded. Purposeful and guided by Faith and Trust in the Divine.

19. That my parents are the best. How lucky am I to be so loved. 

20. That my sister is the best friend I always wanted.

21. That following your heart brings joy with an equal amount of painful spiritual tests.

22. That live music is fuel. Electric riffs and drum solos make my cells wild with joy. I’m picking up drums this year.  I will once and for all play that guitar. I want that so much.

23. That wearing cowboy boots in NYC makes people look twice. Maybe stare. And I love it. I love to declare that I’m from Texas.

24. That I want to start holding 1st Day of Spring Parties with lots of yellow everywhere and magazine-style decor and treats.

25. That a mystical, magical, divine energy guides me and walks with me. Without a doubt.

26. That I’m at peace.

27. That what we focus on has energy. And I choose to focus on Joy. And I choose to focus on celebrating all that is Joyous in Life. All that which brings Light to all the corners of the world.

What the winter taught me, in my struggle to be at peace with its discomfort, Joy is a decision and also my birth right irrespective of the weather.

As 2016 came to a close, there was a lot of individual and collective emotion of grief and anger and despair. I was affected by the current events deeply.  I had to disconnect fully for my own mental well being. By January I realized that being shut off and tuned out could not remain as a course of action either. However, there was this lingering guilt that if I celebrated in any way (from posting a selfie of a fun experience or sharing a happy anecdote of the day) that I was betraying something.  As if it meant that I didn’t care. As if it meant irresponsible self-indulgence at a time that seemed to require of me to step out in anger and defiance. But that made me feel worse. 

So I retreated further in search of guidance and wisdom. And I learned that what we need now more than ever is Joy. Light. So much Light. Yes, we must keep on challenging what is undeniably wrong BUT without dismissing or underplaying our moment to moments of Joy.  Instead, we must share them and celebrate them as much as possible.

So this Spring I focus on celebrating all the people I’ve so luckily crossed paths with who’ve posted and will post pictures of themselves in love with their children, with their romantic partners, with their life, with their jobs, with their community. I will celebrate their accomplishments and risk taking. I will consciously celebrate them because in posting their Joy I am reminded of mine.

Thank you Winter. Hello Spring.


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